I miss my Dad. Dad died in 1995 from mesothelioma, a cancer directly attributable to asbestos. Dad did a 5 year apprenticeship in the Newport News Shipyard as a hull's draftman in his younger years, so that was where he was exposed to asbestos.
We learn things from our parents, some are things we learn to do and some are things we learn not to do. I'm about 50/50 in my experience categories from my Dad
Dad was one of the smartest men I ever knew. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1961 at the age of 31 and the first place I ever remember living was Blacksburg (I was 5). Dad graduated with a Mechanical Engineering Degree, but his profession was as a Lighting Rep to call on engineers and architects so they would specify the fixtures of the companies he represented. So after I graduated we had a common ground of interest, the building profession.
Was Dad complimentary and full of praise - No
Was Dad good at criticism and short verbal jabs that didn't make you feel to good - Yea
There is a fine line between being witty and arrogant and I have one child who doesn't understand, but Dad knew and he constantly stood with one foot on each side of the line.
I heard "You can screw up a cannon ball" more times than once and after years I finally asked him "How do you screw up a cannon ball", to which he reply "Pretty tough, Huh?"
Might not sound like the best environment, but it wasn't bad either. I could either become extremely insecure or extremely secure, the latter is the path I took. I am always mindful of not becoming arrogant, but I follow the beat of my own drum. I gained my strength through a confident Dad and the one who made me tough.
During my senior years in high school I decided to study architecture at Va. Tech. I told my Dad and his first response with a deadpan face was "I know a bunch of architects and most of them are assholes.", to which I responded " OK, I still want to study architecture". His other words of advice were - "I would never take a major that was subjective such as English, Art, or Architecture. I would only take a major that was objective such as Math, Science, or Engineering. Because not matter how much the professor hates you 2 + 2 always equals 4". Architecture subjective? Who knew?
So as I entered college and these young naive freshmen would present their projects and watch a professor physically and mentally destroy them (all you licensed architects know exactly what I am talking about), I would see students actually cry. Once they tore up my models, I would just turn around and look at the guy behind me and say "Well, I guess he didn't really take a fancy to what I was doing?". If they told me I was terrible and would never become an architect, I would think "Hey, do you know my Dad?"
What I do appreciate from my Dad is learning how to be strong and stand up for myself. My father had high standards and expected them from others, I have and do the same. My worst critic is myself, so there is very little anyone else can tell me that would make me feel bad or that I am not already aware of. My father taught me to be responsible. He taught me to be professional. He taught me to be kind. Where he may not have been the kindest or easiest on the kids, I found out later in life that Dad would to teach illiterate adults how to read in a class once a week, but never told anyone he was doing it.
Education was very important to my Dad. He wanted us to get a degree, in anything, he just thought the degree was that important. I was the only child of three to go to four year college directly after school and get one. My father at 58 years old, self employed, went an got his MBA because he wanted to. I remember him telling me, smiling from ear to ear, that he was the first Barber to get his Masters, to which I replied "And Dad you shall get no competition from me!".
After college when I started working down here in NC, I would go back home to Roanoke, Va. Dad and I would talk about the "profession" and our Hokies. Dad was a die hard Hokie and my best Hokie Pal. Dad and I were a lot different, but the ties that bind us were extremely strong and I do miss him.
Side note:
We all have pictures of our elders, but one thing I have found I do not have much of is audio. I do not have any videos I know of with my father's voice, but I can hear it as clearly as if he were here. I do have a cassette that my father made with my uncle talking to my grandfather. It is the only audio I have of their voices. I would assume in our current social environments that with vine, facebook and other social site that we all have videos. Without this cassette, my kids would never have known what their great grandfather sounded like and when Dad died my youngest was 5, so I don't know what he remembers. You don't appreciate things until they're gone. So make sure you backup and store video and audio files so your kids, and grand kids will be able to hear what their grandparents and great grandparents sounded like.
Happy Father's Day!
We learn things from our parents, some are things we learn to do and some are things we learn not to do. I'm about 50/50 in my experience categories from my Dad
Dad was one of the smartest men I ever knew. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1961 at the age of 31 and the first place I ever remember living was Blacksburg (I was 5). Dad graduated with a Mechanical Engineering Degree, but his profession was as a Lighting Rep to call on engineers and architects so they would specify the fixtures of the companies he represented. So after I graduated we had a common ground of interest, the building profession.
Was Dad complimentary and full of praise - No
Was Dad good at criticism and short verbal jabs that didn't make you feel to good - Yea
There is a fine line between being witty and arrogant and I have one child who doesn't understand, but Dad knew and he constantly stood with one foot on each side of the line.
I heard "You can screw up a cannon ball" more times than once and after years I finally asked him "How do you screw up a cannon ball", to which he reply "Pretty tough, Huh?"
Might not sound like the best environment, but it wasn't bad either. I could either become extremely insecure or extremely secure, the latter is the path I took. I am always mindful of not becoming arrogant, but I follow the beat of my own drum. I gained my strength through a confident Dad and the one who made me tough.
During my senior years in high school I decided to study architecture at Va. Tech. I told my Dad and his first response with a deadpan face was "I know a bunch of architects and most of them are assholes.", to which I responded " OK, I still want to study architecture". His other words of advice were - "I would never take a major that was subjective such as English, Art, or Architecture. I would only take a major that was objective such as Math, Science, or Engineering. Because not matter how much the professor hates you 2 + 2 always equals 4". Architecture subjective? Who knew?
So as I entered college and these young naive freshmen would present their projects and watch a professor physically and mentally destroy them (all you licensed architects know exactly what I am talking about), I would see students actually cry. Once they tore up my models, I would just turn around and look at the guy behind me and say "Well, I guess he didn't really take a fancy to what I was doing?". If they told me I was terrible and would never become an architect, I would think "Hey, do you know my Dad?"
What I do appreciate from my Dad is learning how to be strong and stand up for myself. My father had high standards and expected them from others, I have and do the same. My worst critic is myself, so there is very little anyone else can tell me that would make me feel bad or that I am not already aware of. My father taught me to be responsible. He taught me to be professional. He taught me to be kind. Where he may not have been the kindest or easiest on the kids, I found out later in life that Dad would to teach illiterate adults how to read in a class once a week, but never told anyone he was doing it.
Education was very important to my Dad. He wanted us to get a degree, in anything, he just thought the degree was that important. I was the only child of three to go to four year college directly after school and get one. My father at 58 years old, self employed, went an got his MBA because he wanted to. I remember him telling me, smiling from ear to ear, that he was the first Barber to get his Masters, to which I replied "And Dad you shall get no competition from me!".
After college when I started working down here in NC, I would go back home to Roanoke, Va. Dad and I would talk about the "profession" and our Hokies. Dad was a die hard Hokie and my best Hokie Pal. Dad and I were a lot different, but the ties that bind us were extremely strong and I do miss him.
Side note:
We all have pictures of our elders, but one thing I have found I do not have much of is audio. I do not have any videos I know of with my father's voice, but I can hear it as clearly as if he were here. I do have a cassette that my father made with my uncle talking to my grandfather. It is the only audio I have of their voices. I would assume in our current social environments that with vine, facebook and other social site that we all have videos. Without this cassette, my kids would never have known what their great grandfather sounded like and when Dad died my youngest was 5, so I don't know what he remembers. You don't appreciate things until they're gone. So make sure you backup and store video and audio files so your kids, and grand kids will be able to hear what their grandparents and great grandparents sounded like.
Happy Father's Day!
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